Where did the IIN go wrong

# 1: Everything will pass. Whether we like it or not: life is change. Both good and bad things pass away. The burden of the present is easier to bear if we ask ourselves the following question:How do we want to weather the storm?With the handbrake on and bated breath or with the conviction that every coin always has two sides.Which positive aspects can be seen in my distress? Who did I get to know? How will I be when it's all over And do I (maybe already) see an improvement in other areas of my life?

# 2: Crises are part of life. Wanting to avoid them is understandable, but not possible. You will have to survive small and large crises until the end of your life. Get used to the thought and recognize when a supposed crisis might just be an inconvenience or a challenge. Not every crisis is rightly named and therefore does not have to be fought with the same intellectual and emotional rigor.

# 3: Negative feelings are okay. Humans are endowed with a wide variety of emotions and none of them have a greater right to exist than the other. Suppressing anger, anger, fear and sadness only ensures that at some point they will vent out of control. Conversely, a constant smile does not prove our bravery and the desire to show this to others does not have to mean strength. Being able to accept emotions is an important step in taking the horror away from them. Even if they are uncomfortable, they have their place. And don't forget, growth also causes pain.

# 4: embrace what can't be changed. We don't want to accept some events in life. We cannot accept it. And yet there is no getting around it. Fate doesn't care about our sensitivities or whether it is the wrong time. It leaves no one behind and cannot be negotiated with. One thing is certain: the fight against facts cannot be won. And positive thinking has its limitations. So what to do In the last few decades the subject of "acceptance" has become the key in psychology. Not only in the world religions one practices accepting the circumstances, but also in the context of therapeutic measures. No fight against reality, no fleeing from the unpleasant truth, but accept the facts and allow the pain. The prerequisite for this is enduring unpleasant feelings. We are endowed with a multitude of emotions because the answer to life does not have to be a positive one. Do not be afraid of it. The important thing is: An alleged low point can - with guidance - become a turning point. When we give up all struggles (internal and external), we let go. The idea of ​​how the world should be. We create space for possibilities and in the best case we feel: From here on everything is a bonus. When expectations no longer cloud reality, we also begin to focus on the good. And once a personal low point has been overcome, not only does inner strength grow, but humility with it. And it looks good on all of us.

# 5: Worries aren't good advisors. If everything goes wrong, we are trapped in our negativity. We brood instead of thinking and believing that if we give enough thought, we can still solve our problems. Warning: Coloring in apocalyptic scenarios only takes away the necessary caution in the present. It doesn't solve your crises, it makes them worse. Allow time for your worries. For example, allow them to express themselves for 15 minutes once a day. Before and afterwards it is important to say "stop" when circles of thought arise. Replace your negative thoughts with positive aspects or get distracted. The core message of worry can be important, but brooding is a waste of time.

# 6: Others 'Opinion is Others' Opinion. In difficult times, we are particularly vulnerable to outside advice. Our own insecurity opens the door to other people's opinions. And they are often anything but constructive. Make yourself aware that the advice of your fellow human beings is also influenced by worries, fears and (unchecked) assumptions and that they are not universal patent solutions. Don't let the negativity of others destroy your plant of hope. Find solution-minded people who have gone through similar exams. And stay curious.Haven't you considered a path yet? Wonderful. Try it out.

# 7: learn to be patient. Being patient is more than just waiting. It means challenging yourself, persevering, and trusting that there are multiple ways to get there. Practicing patience over and over again is not only a test, but also offers the opportunity to become more relaxed. It is only when we need patience that we learn to be patient and confront us with our true goals.How much do I really want it? How much energy do I want to invest? What can I contribute until what I want occurs? What not? And what alternative paths can I go?

# 8: identify turning points. Falling down is not the end. Get used to this thought and recognize a turning point in failure. Usually we first have to deal with our habits and framework conditions when things go wrong. You can use this energy. We often ignore the painful little things in everyday life and happily accept changes in course by others, even though they stand in the way of our own growth. Instead, we learn to live with the inconvenience and, in the worst case, move away from our own ideas. Change that. In good time. Or at the latest in moments of defeat by turning your failure into a turning point.

# 9: recognize patterns.Do you keep getting into the wrong partner? Do you always get hold of the badly paid jobs? Or do you keep coming across colleagues who harass you? Then maybe a pattern has crept into you. Warning: We are not looking for the guilty party here, but for opportunities for change. There is no question that there are people with unreflective behavior and bad intentions. But often our own behavior has the same consequences for different people. Submission and restraint seek the opposite pole on the outside. And fear of the unfamiliar makes us tolerate ailing circumstances. Check your behavior for possible patterns.How do I usually behave? What are the consequences? What has to happen to try new ways? When do I want to have the courage to make small changes? And what do I expect from it?

# 10: take time out. In order to do justice to life, it is important to live instead of just exist even in difficult times. Most problems cannot be solved by giving up all conveniences. Take a break from suffering. And without a guilty conscience. By definition, crises cannot be dealt with immediately. They demand strength and energy, which must also be supplied again. Go out for a fancy meal, meet up with friends, get to know new areas and do what you've always wanted to do. You have to grab opportunities by hand, even if the reason behind them is negative.

# 11: The street sweeper Beppo (Momo, Michael Ende). The old street sweeper Beppo tells Momo how one can face life's tasks: “Sometimes you have a very long road ahead of you. You think it's so terribly long; you can never do that, you think. And then you start to rush. And one hurries more and more. Every time you look up, you can see that what lies ahead is not getting any less. And you try harder, you get scared and in the end you are completely out of breath and can no longer. And the road is still ahead of you. You can't do it like that. You should never think of the whole street at once, you see? You only have to think about the next step, the next breath, the next stroke of the broom. Then it is fun; that is important, then you do your job well. And that is how it is supposed to be. Suddenly you realize that you have made the whole road step by step. You didn't even notice how, and you're not out of breath. This is important."

You can find more tips and recommendations in my bookDISEASES - What They Are Worth and How We Overcome Them, as well as in my diary 365 days of life - your diary for the essentials. Enjoy reading!

Sincerely, Tamara Nauschnegg