How do I get started with marriage?
How do I start the separation interview?
The decision has been made for a while, but I can't find the right words or THE moment to say it. And it took a while to really admit that there is no more future. Who likes to give up their marriage, right?
We have been together for 13 years, 6 have been married, have no children and we share a house.
It has certainly not been running properly for a long time, but you somehow learn to come to terms with it. We live in our house as a shared flat rather than in a relationship. We have had separate bedrooms for almost 3 years because my husband snores so much. That's why you hardly have any more sex.
We hardly talk to each other, apart from one hobby we no longer have anything in common and everyone does what they want (except cheating, I'm 100% sure of that). When we are at home, we usually watch series or do something with friends, so you always have someone with you and can talk to others.
I want to end my marriage and I don't want therapy or fighting for it. I tried that for a long time and in our conversations we tried again and again to fix it, but without success.
At the moment things are going "well", so by our standards. We don't argue, we just live. But I still believe that it will be a shock for him and I don't know how to start this darned conversation, precisely because it's going "well", how should you argue?
He's a really good guy, and as stupid as that sounds, so mate I could have him all my life because we get along well, out of wedlock. Difficult to describe / explain. Last year I was at this point and didn't make it because there is family behind it. You not only lose your partner, but also everything that you have built up over the years.
But I would like to conduct the separation interview "factually" (even if I will cry bitterly), or without reproaches. There is a lot that has accumulated in me that I could throw at him but not want to, because the breakup will surely hit him enough. Still, I'm so scared of the moment because I know I will hurt it so much. Because I think, despite the situation, he has no idea how far I have already come, because in such situations he always takes the easiest way. Like here, just sit out, because it works somehow ... He doesn't like conflicts and always evades them. But he's not stupid either, I'm sure he's dissatisfied too, but he's not the kind of person who gives up like me.
And how do you continue afterwards? Do I move out of consideration, or do you let it go until I have a new place to stay? I don't want the house, it's way too big and I would move back to my family. We are both financially independent because we both earn well and work full-time. The separation would not be so bad as far as the "separation of property" is concerned. We even each have our own account. You see, I've already thought a lot, but can't manage to pronounce them in my head.
With my post I am simply hoping for help from like-minded people who have already experienced this and who may be able to give me good advice. But fighting for my marriage is no longer an option.
Thanks for your ear!
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