Patience can be learned
Learn to be patient and become more relaxed
8 steps to more serenity
Serenity means to find your inner peace and balance. Whoever takes life as it comes without complaining is more content and happier. Because there are so many things that simply cannot be changed - so why get upset about it and even put your own health at risk?
The good news: composure is not a question of type. Some may naturally be more at rest than others. But everyone has the opportunity to become more relaxed with a little practice, to improve their quality of life and also to have a positive influence on their health:
1. Analyze yourself
At the beginning you should analyze yourself and your behavior more closely. What robs you of your patience? And why? Here some examples:
Do you get impatient quickly when you have to wait a few minutes longer at the checkout? Why?
Do you quickly become hectic if you don't do all your tasks right away? Why?
Does it make you crazy if your partner or your children don't think as perfectionistically as you do? Why?
Are you annoyed when someone arrives five minutes late for an appointment? Why?
There are times when a certain level of impatience is acceptable. However, the examples mentioned are not included. Once you realize how often and on what trivial occasions your impatience gets your pulse racing, you can gradually distance yourself from it.
Also, think about the impact your impatience can have on the overall situation. Does your impatience and the associated excitement really make things go faster in the end? It is much more likely that it will make family and friends feel insecure, that it will sometimes even lead to arguments and that everything will only take longer. The pressure you put on others makes them nervous and can lead to mishaps and mistakes that only make things worse. Try to take the pressure out of situations for you and for others, so you interrupt the escalation spiral and a lot will work better in the end.
Easier said than done, you might think now. After all, if you could relax, you wouldn't be so stressed. It is really not impossible to incorporate small relaxation oases into everyday life. The awareness that you have not taken enough time off so far is the first step. Next you start to work specifically on your relaxation. Examples of effective relaxation techniques are:
Mindfulness: Those who go through life and thereby perceive and accept the here and now have come a big step closer to mindfulness with serenity. You can do mindfulness exercises at any time in a quiet minute, which you gain, for example, by waiting. Deep breathing, a judgment-free perception of the body and the feelings or a consideration of the environment bring you to calm and back into harmony with yourself.
Meditation: Meanwhile, meditation is on everyone's lips, because in today's stressful times the relaxation technique is the ideal antidote. Even small units of 5 to 10 minutes of meditation make you more relaxed when dealing with stress, increase your stress limit and relax the body. After a short time you will notice that you have more patience and even wonder why you were always upset about certain situations.
Yoga: No matter which form of yoga you choose, the practice will have a balancing and calming effect on you. Yin Yoga has a particularly decelerating effect. Because you do not follow certain asana procedures, but stay in the positions for several minutes. By inhaling and exhaling deeply, you let yourself fall deeper and deeper into the exercise and learn to calm your mind and use your breathing. You will also remove tension and blockages.
3. Get bored
In today's fast-paced world we have almost forgotten how to endure boredom. Boredom can wonderfully clear your mind. Because boredom is only a waste of time and therefore a negative if you interpret it that way. Simply reverse the sign: A boring waiting time can also be an unexpected time gift for you that you can enjoy. Maybe for a little meditation, for a breathing exercise, for a few creative thoughts. Try not to think about what else you have to do under time pressure. Rather concentrate on the beautiful moments that you have experienced and be happy that you are given a few minutes just for yourself.
Over time you will get more and more used to enjoying these short moments of boredom. Then try to feel bored for more than a few minutes in the evening after work or on the weekend. As soon as you escape your to-do lists and the high pace of your everyday life, you will notice that your thoughts start to wander completely by themselves. Completely new ideas will mature in you and you will lose your stuck thinking structures. These non-enforced moments can be a bubbling fountain of creativity. Many a new thought that will come to you can in turn make a lot of things easier for you. Therefore try to open up this rich source for your life.
4. Use the waiting time for beautiful things
Often enough, the constant tight deadlines keep us from reading a good book, an interesting newspaper article or just a few emails from friends. Then why not use the waiting time for it? Because this waiting time belongs to you all alone. So design them with beautiful things that give you joy.
5. Accept the situation
Let's take the supermarket queue again as an example. You have to wait whether you want to or not. If you lose patience, you won't get there any faster. It's not because the whole universe has conspired against you. It's just like that in the moment. Therefore, you should try to simply accept the situation. Because it is based on external circumstances that you cannot influence. Any impatience and excitement that you show will come to nothing and bring no solution. The best way to master the situation is if you finally manage to give the cashier a smile and turn the originally annoying wait into a positive experience. Shared pain is half of the pain. And the cashier will likely feel the same way you do. She just may not show it because she experiences it several times a day.
6. Get rid of too high demands
Serenity also has a lot to do with accepting things and other people for who they are. It may be that you have very high demands on your environment. However, there is little you can do yourself to ensure that others function as you imagine. Try to put aside your expectations and accept the fact that your children sometimes make mistakes, that the colleague does a task differently than you or that your partner sometimes cannot read your mind.
Perfectionism can be one reason why you often lose patience and find it so difficult to be calm. In our blog you will also find an article that is exclusively dedicated to this topic and gives you some tips on how to escape the trap of perfectionism.
7. Break through negative thought patterns
Impatience and a lack of composure can also be traced back to certain basic mental attitudes. If your perception is dominated by negative thought patterns, it is easy for you to go crazy over small things. Such patterns also encourage perfectionism, which can be the reason you are never completely satisfied with what you are doing. THE WORK is a recognized method with which it is possible to break through negative thought patterns and to find clarity. As soon as you perceive the positive things more strongly, it will be easy for you to take the little disasters of everyday life with serenity and to let impatience arise less often.
8. Exercise patience
Practice makes perfect, this also applies to practicing calmly. Therefore, confront yourself consciously with situations in which you normally lose patience quickly. For example, stand in the longest queue in the supermarket, go to the next doctor's appointment even earlier or deliberately carry out activities more slowly.
Don't let small setbacks dissuade you from your goal. Because the more relaxed you become mentally, the more it will affect your body. You become calmer, you don't let stress throw you off course so quickly. And soon you will also notice that your environment reacts to you much more calmly.
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