Different people have different love languages

What language of love do you speak?

Everyone shows their love in a different way. While some literally can hardly keep their hands off their partner, others try to show their affection through frequent confessions of love and compliments. In relationships it is essential to communicate love and appreciation to your loved one. But it can quickly lead to misunderstandings and problems if the partners in a relationship express love in completely different ways.

What are the languages ​​of love?

American anthropologist and couple and relationship counselor Dr. Gary Chapman studied how people express their love for someone and how they themselves would like to be loved. Just as you love yourself, you want to be loved by others too. He calls these different ways of loving and being loved Love Languagesthan the languages ​​of love. Five different languages ​​of love emerged from his work and research.

  1. praise and recognition
  2. Togetherness / time for two
  3. Gifts
  4. Helpfulness
  5. tenderness

1. Praise and recognition

No matter if words of appreciation, love letters or love confessions. People who show their love especially through praise and recognition like to compliment their partner and cannot say the magic three words "I love you" often enough. In return, however, they also regularly expect verbal or written declarations of love, expressions of affection and encouragement from their partner.

2. Togetherness / time for two

If the language of love is togetherness, people attach particular importance to spending a lot of time with their partner. They enjoy going out a lot and would love to be with their sweetheart all the time. In addition, love is expressed through active, attentive listening and intense eye contact. The most important thing about this language of love is that the relationship provides undivided attention to a single person, deep conversations, and interests shared.

3. Gifts

Gifts as the language of love do not mean giving your partner expensive surprises every week. It is more about the symbolic meaning of the gift and about conveying love visually and tangibly. The gifts should be small gifts that are carefully selected. Another important point is the process of giving. People with this language of love are happy to bring joy to others and to see how the gifts are responded to. At the same time, they love receiving gifts themselves to see how well the other knows them.

4. Willingness to help

Actions speak louder than words. If willingness to help is the language of love, it is greatly appreciated when the partner is always there and does everything to make life easier. At the same time you are ready to give your partner a helping hand and to help whenever possible. It is mainly about everyday things that make life easier. This includes, for example, preparing breakfast or taking on household chores when the other person doesn't have time.

5. tenderness

People whose language of love is based on tenderness can hardly keep their hands off their partner and feel loved and valued, especially through physical contact and touch. Whether holding hands, kisses, cuddling or sex - physical intimacy is the most important thing. In addition, people who express their love through tenderness build emotions through touch and feel connected through physical contact with their partner.

Can you only love one way?

The concept of the languages ​​of love assumes that everyone uses one of these five ways to express their love for others. Although most of the time you don't communicate through just one love language, according to Chapman everyone has a primary love language. This means that you can generally use several or maybe even all love languages, but one of them is still the most important. This one language of love cannot be dispensed with in a relationship under any circumstances.

Why you should know your language of love!

Knowing how to express love and what, in turn, is the language of your partner's love will help improve communication in a relationship. It is easy to misunderstand or feel that you are not valued enough when you express love in different ways. As soon as you know what the love language of your partner is, you can make an effort to show him / her appreciation in this way.