How did you learn proper dinner manners
Manners: This is how you score points with others
Quality manners - Bad manners: there seem to be clear ideas about what is proper and what is not. On closer inspection, however, it becomes apparent that by no means all manners are universal laws. What may still be acceptable among private individuals is a sign of bad behavior in a professional context. And as soon as we look beyond national borders, some behaviors are completely different than in this country. We investigate the question of what manners are and what they are necessary for ...
➠ Content: This is what awaits you
➠ Content: This is what awaits you
Manners or Etiquette? A definition
The plural word manners belongs to the term manner, the one way, denotes a certain behavior.
Synonymous with the plural word manners is said:
Even if it is usually not explicitly stated: What is meant is usually good behavior. That is also what is assumed - without being specifically named. However, it is clear who is through deviant behavior stands out unpleasantly, has bad manners.
A distinction must be made between manners and etiquette. Manners relate more to a specific action - for example, the loudly audible belch than Bad manners signs in this country.
The label denotes one Sequence of different behaviorsFor example, a strict court ceremony in a royal house or the correct greeting of different personalities who are higher in the hierarchy at a congress.
Manners viewed in context
The question arises: what are good manners, what are bad ones? It's not that easy to answer the question. Manners definitely belong for social interaction with other people. From an early age we learn from parents, relatives and teachers how to behave in certain situations:
- You don't speak with your mouth full.
- Sit still.
- Fist next to the plate.
- The spoon goes to your mouth - not the other way around.
- You don't interrupt other people.
- Shake hands in greeting.
These are just the basics and have long been just a small one Choice of behaviorsthat children often hear from their parents. And the better you implement the guidelines - also in contact with others - the more enthusiastic they are. But your child is well brought up, can then be heard.
Eating together at the table, the greeting and generally important rules of communication can be part of manners, depending on what parents value. The review is exactly the point, however: manners that are perceived as good in the sense of "polite" in this country can cause irritation elsewhere - and vice versa.
Example: In Germany, people are greeted with a handshake - regardless of their gender or hierarchy. In a number of Asian countries, such as China and Japan, on the other hand, it is common to have the opposite by bowing to greet. The following applies: The higher the other person is in the hierarchy, the lower one's bow must be.
Knowing these differences is above all a sign of intercultural competence. Objectively speaking, not knowing them is human - no one can all behaviors know all over the world.
Still, it may be viewed subjectively as bad manners. And in professional terms The following applies: Anyone who has to do with foreign business partners or customers in their working life should inform themselves accordingly beforehand in order to avoid such lapses.
Importance of good manners
Some people consider manners to be completely overrated and an expression of one stuffy attitude towards life. The The epitome of good manners and inextricably linked with it is Adolph Freiherr von Knigge.
Albeit its work About dealing with people Nowadays it is mainly misinterpreted as a behavior guide, even if it was originally about socio-psychological issues and the Spiritual education of man went.
Knigge has been dead for several centuries, but up to the present day when people deal with the question of the meaning of manners, they cannot be quite so banal.
A good 15 years ago, Asfa-Wossen Asserate, a noble management consultant, published the book mannersin which he the Peculiarities of German and European manners viewed against the background of its Ethiopian origin. The book became a bestseller. Where does the interest come from?
And why are manners important? They make life easier because they do give security. Those who master them know how to behave in certain situations - and the other person knows it as well. Even if two complete strangers meet, both of them know how to behave if they have the same socialization.
That makes handling predictable in a way, because certain rules apply regardless of age for all. Respect and consideration, for example: That you open the door for the following person, through which you are going yourself, instead of simply letting it shut.
Children are usually looked after when the manners are not yet well developed in all areas - that correct understanding about Duzen and Siezen comes later.
What is expressed with manners
What are good manners? For Knigge it was clear:
The basic principle is that one should behave in such a way that behavior is characterized by friendliness and consideration.
who respectful and kind When dealing with others, the same thing usually happens to them. People are then more accessible and more willing to respond to their counterparts. That's one side of manners. They are learned at an early stage and help to develop a certain habitus.
There is more to manners than just knowing which fork is used for which food. Manners are reflected in clothing, communication, body language, greeting, and posture. It was formerly the courtyards and the bourgeoisie, who decisively shaped certain manners, nowadays it is more elite universities and behavioral courses.
The socialization and the Recognize class-specific origin - unless someone has consciously abandoned old behavior and put new manners on top. The latter is not necessarily a sign of a lack of authenticity. Rather, behavior that complies with the rules shows that someone wants to play on the same team.
Good manners are a door opener
Not everyone goes to an elite university, but even if they do: They are also university graduates not immune from itto commit one or the other mistake - simply because many have not learned that different rules apply in business life than in private life.
Ignorance of how to greet them correctly or how to tie a tie, however, should Beginner mistakes remain. Likewise, certain expressions towards customers. If, for example, the colleague is not at the desk, this can be explained on the phone in exactly the same way.
More precise details à la "Is just on the toilet" are too much information and a Signs of lack of sensitivity. When it comes to the question of good manners, it is very often about getting a feeling for situations. If you don't know something, you can of course find out in advance. For example, when it comes to the dress code in the job interview.
Tips for more success
This is of course not about voyeurism. But in many areas of life a helping of restraint and observation helps: How do others behave? What is custom? It is important not only to take your own milieu as a role model, because behavior among friends and relatives will often not differ significantly.
The right manners at the right time can be a door opener. For example, if you look at your counterpart in an open and friendly manner, offer your hand in greeting and only sit down when asked to do so, you will gain the sympathy of your counterpart even before anything has been said. Words like thanks and You're welcome should be part of the repertoire as naturally as the time of day or a few words when saying goodbye.
Show up on time.
The good old Prussian virtues still count. This includes appearing on time. Keeping others waiting is a sign of a lack of appreciation. In cases in which you are unpredictable and delayed through no fault of your own, you should let us know as soon as possible. If this happens more often, however, it falls back on you and your inadequate time planning.
Attentive, active listening means looking at the other person. That doesn't mean that you can't take a quick look around or out of the window, for example. What it does mean, however: You should neither leave funny doodles on your notepad (unless you have a direct reference to the lecture, such as with sketchnotes) nor constantly play with your smartphone.
For a basis of trust, it is essential that you are reliable. This means that once you have made promises you will keep - no matter what. Of course, there is no mention of accidents or catastrophes outside the scope of one's own action. But if you are overcome by acute displeasure, then that is not an argument. For example, anyone who has agreed to organize the company party should take care of it and not pull it out of the affair with flimsy excuses. Anyone who disappoints the trust of others will soon no longer have the opportunity to prove themselves. However, such situations are what you need to distinguish yourself and advance professionally.
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